Setting Healthy Boundaries in Relationship

When individuals hear the word “boundaries,” they might imagine barriers that keep them away from others. That is partly true, but setting healthy boundaries in relationship is very important for having strong, healthy relationships. They maintain individuality, safeguard emotional and physical health, and promote healthier interactions.

Boundaries can be physical, such as telling someone not to invade your phone, or psychological, such as having ambitions and dreams respected. Healthy boundaries:

Encourage autonomy and prevent codependency.
Set up communication expectations.
Build respect for oneself and self-agency.
Offer comfort on a physical and emotional level.
Help define roles and responsibilities in a relationship.
Differentiate your own feelings, needs, and desires from another’s.

Without setting healthy boundaries in relationship, relationships get unhealthy and draining. Constant loans to a friend make you feel taken advantage of, assuming the emotional baggage of a partner wears you out, and having a parent violate your privacy irritates you. In the same way, disrespecting others’ boundaries damages relations.

Boundaries aren’t limited to personal relationships—boundaries are significant in the workplace as well. Ambiguous boundaries in the workplace can lead to tension and frustration, with the lines between work and personal life getting blurred to the point of emotional exhaustion. Research has shown that individuals with established workplace boundaries are more autonomous and content.

RECOGNIZING THE SIGNIFICANCE OF BOUNDARIES

Prior to establishing boundaries, it’s crucial to know why they are important. Healthy relationship requires proper expectations in order to reduce conflict and maintain harmony. Open dialogue regarding boundaries can grow relationships instead of separating them.

SETTING AND MAINTAINING BOUNDARIES

Everyone will not honor your boundaries. Some might overstep unintentionally, while others may wilfully disregard them. When this occurs:

RE-STATE YOUR NEEDS CONCISELY AND CALMLY.

Assert reasonable consequences for boundary crossing. For instance, if you tend to be interrupted, you can state, “I feel disrespected when you interrupt me. If that continues to happen, I’ll have to back away from the conversation.”

Assert consequences. Threats that are not followed through breed more boundary crossing. If you’ve threatened repeated dishonesty will lead you to break up a relationship, you have to follow through on that action if it is ever necessary.

COMMUNICATING YOUR NEEDS CLEARLY

Open communication is what healthy relationships are based on. When establishing boundaries:

Be precise about your limits and what you expect.
Plan ahead by writing down key points.
State concerns in “I” statements instead of attacking statements (e.g., “I feel overwhelmed when I do all the household chores by myself”).
Be specific. Instead of saying, “I need more space,” specify: “I feel disrespected when you enter my room without knocking. Will you please knock first?”
Reply to feedback and recognize your partner’s point of view. Although you don’t have to explain your boundaries, doing so can help the other party know and respect them.

RESPECTING YOUR PARTNER’S BOUNDARIES

Just as you would like your boundaries respected, you ought to respect your partner’s. Relationships are mutual, and there is a need for mutual understanding. Listen to your partner’s needs and talk about them freely.

The way you talk matters. Experiment with “soft startups”—peaceful, non-accusatory entryways into a discussion. Instead of saying, “You never respect my time,” say, “I feel drained when I don’t have time to myself. Can we discuss how we can find balance in having some space and time together?”

MAKING SPACE FOR YOURSELF

Time spent together matters, but also having personal time. If both you and your partner spend most of the time together, address when and where you can leave each other and engage in alone activities. In this way, both of you will remain independent while supporting each other.

JUDGING RELATIONSHIP PATTERNS

Checking who influences your emotions can guide you to decide what boundaries you might need. Upon interacting with the person, identify how you felt:

Were there rude jokes and comments?
Did they leave you physically or emotionally ill at ease?
Were you compelled to perform something that contradicts your principles?
Did their assumptions weigh upon you?
Did they treat you in an infantilizing way, denying you control?

If you must reply with a “yes” to one of the questions, then perhaps you will have to enforce tighter boundaries.

MAINTAINING RESPECTFUL COMMUNICATION

Respectful relationships are built on mutual respect. When setting boundaries, enter conversations with empathy, kindness, and patience. Building respect in each interaction creates a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

KNOWING YOUR RELATIONSHIP EXPECTATIONS

Love or friendship, getting to know your needs is essential. Think about what you value to determine what boundaries are most essential. If control is essential, set boundaries over finances with a partner. If space in the workplace is essential, set boundaries over space.

GOING FORWARD

Setting healthy boundaries in relationship and maintenance are crucial to healthy relationships. They yield trust, respect, and emotional well-being. While boundary-setting takes time and repetition, the feeling of relief and clarity that it creates makes the exercise well worth it. With consistency and persistence, boundaries yield more balanced and fulfilling relationships.